SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Proposed to my gf of 24 yrs xmas day 22. She said yes we have 2 kids 17 and 15. We had a few drinks she fell asleep and went to bed . Her phone was the her phone (never had ). I found that she was friends with a guy in all her social media playforms I noticed this a while back but didn't feel needed to act on it Something was telling me something doesn't feel right . Then I see she was still using snapchat . Checked through snapchat and this same guy is in her contacts as rach . I looked through her dms with him but all was deleted except in 2018 she replied to a messge with ha ha ha , 2019 she sent another message saying no filter ha ha . The next day I came down and said to her this guy keeps trying to add me on fb do you know him she said no , I said are you sure she said yh why … I replied well he is in your phone as rach .her face dropped . She deleted snapchat literally slly there and then . So I got in touch with what I though was his wife and told her she said I'm not surprised I left him 2019 as he hasd social media affairs and was sleeping around . So i messaged him on her insta account saying he knows everything wtf ? His response lucky nothing physical happened and we only flirted off snap. I told her and I told her I know she has been physical with him . Next day she told me one night after a night out he dropped her home and kissed her . Thing is she knows she met him in 2012 but doesn't know how it started she admitted it started as flirting to then sending pics to each other although she only admits to topless selfies but does admit to saying stuff that was just in the moment and was fake . He was a bouncer she met and I have also found out she went to another town in 2017 2018 and see him there but that was coincidence apparently . I got in contact with him asked him to be honest to me . Did u sleep with her ? No Did you ever meet outside of work ? Did u have any other intimate moments or anything like that his response was listen I'm.not answering anymore questions .. Talk to your wife and if you don't believe her that's not my problem he said . Is there more to this ? My gut says so ..I believe it's ended we have made an effort but something inside me won't go away 2012 to 2022..ask me more plz help

Didn't you post this in General not too long ago?

You posted this in GEneral, I'll comment and bump your post up there.

Hi Scooby,

Kissing is physical. From what you shared, it does sound like there's more. Linda MacDonald's book How to Help Your Spouse Heal After Your Affair is a somewhat short read, and your WW should use the book as a starting point to help you heal. Another good book is Not Just Friends by Dr. Shirley Glass. It has a chapter about windows and walls that I found helpful in understanding setting up boundaries between those not in the M. It sounds like your WW has terrible boundaries.

Your thread in G was opened 2+ weeks ago and has several responses. I'm locking this. I've moved your G thread to JFO - https://survivinginfidelity.com/topics/661355/she-got-caught-out-/.

One of SI's guidelines is to not post the same thread in multiple forums. The reason is that you're too likey to get responses on both threads, and it can confuse both readers and posters.

The mods are generally happy to move threads - just open a 'Mod, Please' thread.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 3:52 PM, Friday, August 11th]